Katsuragi Misato (Hope) (
failtactical) wrote2011-09-24 05:32 pm
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Heart Game Writeup
CONCEPT, INTENTION, WTF WERE YOU DOING FLOOR
The concept was to have a heart that represented the many facets Misato has, that she may or may not show to the world depending on circumstances. The different roles she plays for her and other people's sakes! The ones presented in her heart were basically the most predominant ones, and the ones most greatly at conflict with each other.
My main goal with this was both for people to get to interact with the parts of Misato that she doesn't show and/or tends to keep "under check" as well as fuck with her coping mechanisms! This is something I wanted to do since before corruption hearts were a thing that existed, so what I did was to abuse the corruption aspect to give people a clearer goal and encourage messing around with stuff. :B I was actually a little scared that this would backfire if she ended up so borked that I was left with an unplayable/unfun situation, but luckily, the things people did were... let's say, special enough that most changes wouldn't be BLINDING NEON NOTICEABLE. Which is also great because I think it helps people who went in not guiltguiltguiiilt forever.
GENERAL LAYOUT STUFF
Lucifer figured this one out in game! The elevator wasn't going up but down, and the further down you went, the ~deeper~ secrets you'd encounter. The floors were basically stacked in order of how Misato chooses to present herself to the world most commonly (though I should note that pleasure and duty are technically on the same "level" with slight fluctuations, depending on Aatherhappenings).
I also knew I was going to have terrible people playing along with people who are really close to Misato, so I designed the elevator weight limit to minimize cockblocking for people who give no fucks and wanted to touch and break and whatnot, while still allowing them to interact with each other if they happened to meet at certain floors during the game.
Onto the heart itself!
● LOBBY
The top floor! There wasn't really a lot to do here beyond mingling/splitting up for elevator funtimes, and getting confirmation of the heart's owner and where they could choose to go.
The layout was obviously a Greek cross, like the one she wears around her neck in canon.
ELEVATOR
What it says on the tin! The panel had the following buttons:
●
➊
➋
➌
➍
➎
➏
✚
However, 6 and + were unreachable from here. FOR THE RECORD, I completely forgot that I had winged people playing!!1 So the elevator was never intended to be "breakable". But then Lucifer did a thing and... well. :'D
EFFECTS: I WILL TALK ABOUT THE LCL AT THE BOTTOM LATER, but essentially what the hole on the floor did was to create a way for Misato's ~personae~ to more easily interact/get mixed with each other. THERE IS A PERSONALITY LEAK, basically. Which is good in the sense that she will stop seeing things like duty and pleasure as mutually exclusive... but it could also technically cause things like allowing herself to develop romantic feelings for someone in Amethyst or other ridiculous combinations.
Yep.
➊ HOME (Amethyst)
The part of Misato that is most evident to everyone as well as the one thing she has made herself care the most about ever since she found out she was dead. The place felt cozy/homey, everything was in good shape, and Misato herself had all of her motherhenning/housewife...y tendencies turned up high. She was completely Amethyst-centric! And had anyone asked her to go out/elsewhere, she would have only accepted to go to the Ring.
This area is the part of Misato who is now resigned about remaining in Aather for as long as the Personae allow and who has turned her team into her raison d'etre. At the same time, and evidenced by the lack of any strong "teammate" presences represented, it's the Misato who is jaded by bookings and who instinctively expects for everyone to leave eventually!!!1 This could have been helped if Mark or Syaoran had visited this level and offered reassurance, but instead it was Vincent and Kaji who ended up here.
EFFECTS: Both of them are always welcome in Amethyst now! Misato asked them to look after her team and to send them her way if possible. They both agreed to do so, which means Misato now also trusts them with her team and sees them as allies. The sad thing is, again, that neither of the Amethysts in game visited, so she was only left waiting and feeling resigned. Again, at this point teammates getting booked will barely affect her, and it will be difficult for her to bond with their respective replacements.
➋ PLEASURE (Misato's Apartment)
lol obvious area was the most obvious. MISATO'S IRRESPONSIBLE SIDE, the one that's lazy and messy and indulges in all sorts of things she shouldn't and who wants to just relax and forget about all the bad stuff happening around her!!1
This area was in pretty bad shape, stale air, trash everywhere, Misato passed out on the floor. This reflects how Misato has been working hard to not let herself loosen up and
EFFECTS: Souya changed things the most here, obviously. He cleaned up everything and chatted up Pen-Pen, which means Misato is now subconsciously more "aware" that YES, I COULD JUST GET DRUNK AND PRETEND NOTHING IS WRONGGG. He and Kaji also had beer and chatted her up a bit, which will make Misato want to be irresponsible with them the next time she gets the urge to (... not that this is new for them, anyway). Vincent too, on a level, though he had only tea so it's mostly just a sense that it's okay to relax and have fun around him.
➌ DUTY (NERV HQ)
The counterpart to pleasure! The Misato that is all serious businessy during games and Big Things, who places what she sees as her duties and responsibilities before anything else in the world. WINNING AGAINST THE ENEMY IS TOP PRIORITY and safety too, kind of, but yes. Had Syaoran not been... well, Syaoran, she would have guilt tripped whatever soul ended up here into piloting the goddamn Eva. :Dd Also the Angel to fight was the Dreambomination because Personae, Dream specifically, are what Misato perceives as her greatest enemies right now. The status effect here was DETERMINATION AND CONFIDENCE upon wearing the headset... which was more a Misato-during-battle feeling than anything Shinji-related.
EFFECTS: Kaji was a bitch and only got in the way while she was in the middle of an emergency, she is now less likely to listen to anything he says when in the middle of Things Going Down. Meanwhile Syaoran was just the most amazing ever. NGL, I was hoping he'd end up there at some point from the very start because from the moment he joined Amethyst Misato kept seeing him as a Shinji figure of sorts. Then he proved to be different because, even with all the apologizing, he was always earnest and polite, unlike her memories of Shinji! However, this association remained on a subconscious level and this is what made her heart recognize him as a pilot.
This doesn't mean by any means that Misato now sees Pascal as Shinji, but the fact that he was so willing to help and fight coupled with the fact that he beat the shit out of the Angeldreamslothbomination make it so Misato now feels a lot closer to him, proud of him, and like she can Trust him to take care of Things. At the same time, the defeat of the Angeldream means that Misato is no longer afraid of Dream and has now moved into I WILL KICK YOUR ASS YOU BITCH JUST WATCH territory. From here on, she will no longer adopt a passive approach during Heart Games or anything of the sort. \o/
➍ HEART (Misato's Room)
ROMANTIC FEELINGS AND SEX. Two different sets of things that are not really all that different because at this point Misato has no idea how to dissociate them no matter how hard she tries.
The Misato who was naked represented, obviously, the sex part. The aspect of her who physical pleasure, who may or may not use it as a distraction, and who actively seeks it out. She is flirty, playful, and very much shameless. This projection of her was also somewhat derived from her college years with Kaji, more specifically that one-week sexathon they had. 8D;;
The Misato who was wearing the Amethyst uniform is ALL THE FEELINGS. The Misato who refuses to act upon her physical needs due to shame and fear of complications. She is easily flustered, passive, but at the same time weak-willed.
Touching/kissing/whatnot either of them triggered another status effect that would make people not only get a sense of heightened pleasure but also be reluctant to leave this room. lol are we sensing a pattern here.
ANYWAY, Raven ended up here from the very start and I laughed for like half an hour. The fact that Misato has ALL THE FEELINGS for him meant that she was all over him from the start and if he hadn't had the willpower to leave he would have definitely ended up in a threesome with the two of them which then would have had hilariously awkward consequences outside, but anyway. Kaji meanwhile, was kind of a jerk again and only showed up in the room to touch base and be uncomfortable, then leave.
EFFECTS: E-Even more feelings for Raven. Both of the sexy and non-sexy kind. He paid attention to both and kissed one of them of his own free will and Tales speeched which just... \o/;;;; He gained a big boost in the "topping Misato" department and gave her a strong urge to help him and do whatever it is in her hands to make him happy. On the other hand, Kaji showed up just to play Captain Heartbreak and tell Misato he had to check on the others, THE ONE PART OF MISATO HE SHOULDN'T HAVE DISMISSED LIKE THAT \:'D/. So as a consequence Misato now just feels awkward and unwanted around him.
➎ AMBIVALENCE (????)
MISATO'S DADDY ISSUES, BASICALLY. She hasn't remembered the 2nd Impact yet so they aren't fully ~fleshed out~, hence the non-descript area (also I really wanted and excuse to use The Chair, don't judge me). As the area's name indicates, Misato is full of mixed feelings for her father. HE IS A JERK but she wants to see him BUT HE HASN'T CHANGED AT ALL but he is her father... and so on. This is a headcanon memory from the giant batch I will maybe type up someday, for the record!
This Misato is, hilariously, the most self-aware of them all (excluding the true heart)! The little girl who could have grown into a somewhat normal personal without too many issues had her dad not given her all of the complexes in the world. She knew there was a problem with the heart and she was more than happy to point people where to find it and vaguely warn them about all of the unpleasantries further down.
EFFECTS: No big changes here. Mark, Kaji, and Raven specifically were supportive and in some cases even offered to beat up her father for her :'D so now she feels more justified in all her bitterness towards him. There's still sadness and resentment, but the reassurance other people offered will help keep all of her daddy issues at bay... until she takes more memories. Oops.
➏ FORGET (The Gallery) Pt. 1
The place where all of Misato's memories are stored. Honestly, Misato isn't even Catholic herself but this is an Eva heart and I wanted to abuse more of the cross imagery, so that's how the memory crucifixes came to be. Blah, blah, sacrifice symbolism goes here.
Touching any of the ones on the wall would automatically get you a random memory from a pool of trivials. Touching the ones on the floor would get one initially a shock of electricity, and then, once the elevator was fixed/LCL flooded the place, an AT-Field. Now, about 85% of the crucifixes on the floor were significant memories, most commonly of the negative kind, but they could have been positives too. Each of these represents every time Misato chose not to properly deal with feelings and swept those issues under the carpet in favor of focusing on something else. They were voluntarily knocked off the wall for the sake of her own functionality! \o/ Which is also why they were "protected" from other people.
The remaining 15% were knocked off by the corruption itself, so among the memories in the floor one could also find random things like fluffy times in Amethyst and the like. I WILL TALK ABOUT MORE EFFECTS HERE ONCE WE RETURN TO THIS ROOM.
✚ REMEMBER (The Final Door)
The counterpart to the gallery! The one memory Misato has decided to maintain fresh and relive on a constant basis to give herself a sense of comfort and drive in Aather. Also, the thing I wanted other people to see because I wanted them to find out she was dead and she would have never confessed this on her own.
This room wasn't planned for interaction because this is her most important memory and you can't fuck with that. So it was mostly watching a movie and making use of the explosion to open the console room.
HOWEVER, Vincent did manage to interact with the memory briefly and got Misato a (bloodied) handkerchief like the gentleman he is. MORE ON THIS LATER. Also hilariously Lucifer and Nunnally completely escaped this room by breaking the system and blasting into the console room from the outside.
The LCL Sea
AKA: The one part where Aviy was terrible and started making me improvise hardcore. \:'D/ Lucifer and Nunnally tried to fight the system and reach the lower levels via flying, but I did not want them to cheat the system that much, so instead they managed to go even further down and encountered a sea of angel blood. I'm lazy, so I will just copy/paste relevant information pertaining LCL from evawiki:
LCL is an amber-colored, translucent liquid, which allows an Eva pilot to mentally link with their Evangelion Unit. The Entry Plug of an Eva Unit, containing its cockpit, is completely flooded with LCL, and, because it is oxygenated, upon being submerged Eva pilots can "breathe" the liquid. (...) (T)he LCL acts as a mediator allowing the pilot's nervous system to electro-chemically directly interface with the nervous system of an Eva. The greater the degree of interfacing between an Eva and it's pilot's minds, the higher the "synch ratio" between the two.
It is stated several times in the series that LCL smells "like blood". LCL is, in fact, the blood of the Second Angel, Lilith, which is restrained in the deepest level of Nerv HQ, "Terminal Dogma". The "LCL Plant" in Terminal Dogma is actually an entire lake formed from the blood of Lilith.
LCL shares similar properties with the hypothetical "primordial ooze" from which life on Earth first evolved. This is because non-Angel life on Earth actually originally evolved from the LCL spread by Lilith when she landed on Earth.
BUT WHY WAS THAT DOWN THERE, FLOOR??? Ew.
Basically the LCL was a ~symbolic~ representation of all the memories Misato hasn't recovered yet. They are there in her heart, but they are shapeless and all Tang'd. This is also a reference to Misato's other most important memory (currently still unregained) re: the whole ocean turneing into LCL upon the 2nd Impact.
The LCL made people zen out because when the 3rd Impact takes place everyone returns to this form and becomes One.... I HOPE NO ONE IS TERRIBLY CANONBLIND HERE because I am too lazy to explain this whole process atm. Oh wait, evageeks saves the day! There you go.
For the record it was always planned that the LCL would start flooding the heart once the console room was reached, Lucifer and Nunnally only sped up the process via cheating.
Oh also Souya was dumb and decided to go swimming in here and effectively doomed himself for the rest of the heart. AS A CONSEQUENCE, he is now mindlinked with Misato until we get tired of playing with it. :Dd
THE CONSOLE ROOM ... I don't have specific links for this because it happened in like 5 threads at different times.
ANYWAY, this is the neighboring room to the one where Misato dies, which theoretically means there should be no way of messing with anything in her heart without seeing/being reminded of her death. IT IS A SELF-IMPLEMENTED MECHANISM, her own death precedes every single of her choices.
The original plan was for the console itself to be protected by an AT-Field, which would then trigger the corruption. But it was still relatively early in the game and I wanted people to mess more with the gallery, so in the end what happened here was that Nunnally "fixed" the elevator so that it would now effectively reach all levels.
EFFECTS: No sections of Misato's heart are "locked" or unreachable anymore, and it is now possible for her to make decisions without it all leading back to her death. NOTE: The fact that it is possible doesn't mean she won't metaphorically take the stairs down to Masochism Central every time, but still. Lucifer half-covered up the whole he made, so the LCL will not leak in and even if it does, it will evaporate upon contact with the ground. Yay!
➏ FORGET (The Gallery) Pt. 2
Fixing the elevator would fully release the corruption in this area, causing the crucifixes to switch from an electricity field to a more powerful and more symbolic AT one. There was absolutely no way to fix the crucifixes unless anyone were to accept "becoming one" with the corruption because that meant they would have become one with Misato and thus allowed to mess with things in her heart as much as they wanted.
BUT WHAT EVEN WAS THAT CORRUPTION??
Destrudo describes a psychic energy that arises from the Death Drive (Thanatos). It is basically the mechanism that is involved in the destruction of a living being, essentially returning that living being back to "nothing" in extreme cases. It is implied that the effects of destrudo manifest in a living being's A.T. Field. The term is loosely taken from Freudian Psychology and is an opposing energy to Libido as seen in the Psychographs of Episode 20.
The process of destrudo occurs by destroying the soul's individualization (self image) and this percolates down the chain of soul -> A.T. Field -> ego/body, manifesting this destroyed self image.
Plot twist: Had anyone other than Lucifer chosen to become one with the corruption, the situation would have been fixed but I would have also been forced to PM the person in question and ask if they would be okay with sharing a body/headspace with Misato for an undetermined period, or something to that effect. :'D Luckily the motherfucking Lord of Darkness took charge and saved the day at a minimum cost.
Oh yeah, more on AT-Fields.
EFFECTS: The corruption was cleansed and all memories became messable-with! On this note, before any of that happened, Vincent thought it would be cool to shoot one of Misato's memories for the hell of it. Since the AT-Field was in effect he did not destroy it, but he did ~chaned it~ to a certain extent. The memory in question is this, which coupled with the fact that he "helped" the dying Misato in REMEMBER he has now more or less replaced Asuka here. Have fun helping her sort that one out, kids.
The True Heart
The Misato that she wishes she could be! Someone reassuring, positive, honest, and most of all: happy. A Misato who thinks her experiences at Aather are just as important as the ones she went through back home, a Misato who keeps no secrets, A MISATO SUE, if you would.
However, since she herself is so far removed from this ~concept~, nothing that was said to or done with the True Heart is likely to affect her in any way. She mentioned it to Kaji, I think, none of the Misatos in the heart are on speaking terms with each other, even less so with her. She was only here to be honest with people and give them encouraging words and the like. :x
Oh also:
Libido describes a psychic energy that arises from the Life Drive (Eros). It is basically the mechanism that is involved in the creation of a living being, essentially forming a living being out of "nothing" in extreme cases. It is implied that the effects of libido manifest in a living being's A.T. Field. The term is loosely taken from Freudian Psychology and is an opposing energy to Destrudo as seen in the Psychographs of Episode 20.
Aaaand that's about it, I think. To summarize, Misato is currently riding the hell out of an emotional rollercoaster and it will only stop once she deals with a) all of the fresh-again memories of events she never really coped with, b) the fact that all aspects of her personality aren't that clearly divided anymore, c) EVERYTHING THAT'S GOING ON OUTSIDE. She will also experience increased levels of closeness towards everyone who went into her heart, just in varying degrees of specialness and wtfery. EVERYTHING IS A MESS IN THERE, and she feels awful that people had to go in there and see things so she isn't in the best headspace at the time, obviously. Also upon waking up there was probably a big shift in how the levels are arranged (REMEMBER may or may not have moved up to 1 or 2, HEART may have dropped a few levels, etc.)
IDK, I am tired of typing and I know I'm forgetting things, but I'm also sure I'm not making sense anymore. So feel free to ask more specific questions in the comments. And once again, thank you to everyone who played! ♥
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But then I guess I ruined you a little.
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i will just give you a rockin' afterlife with all the booze
and every sharable memory i get ever i guess
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...Raven noticed that Misato was agreeing to what he wanted more than usual and it kind of worried him a little because he can guess he affected something. :'D So basically he's going to be EVEN MORE RELUCTANT TO ASK HER FOR THINGS.
Even though he probably would have stayed in the room if Kaji hadn't walked in and reminded him of Stuff.
In summary we are still winners.
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ngl in my heart notes, I had "IDK MY BFF WINGING IT" for the love/sex section because I had no way to predict who would end up there.
And then magic happened.
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And then ten minutes into the heart it was already MAGICAL.
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Though the alternative would have been beautiful.
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