CONGRATULATIONS SHINJI

[failtactical]

[s-s-surprise candle call?!]

Comments

[failtactical]

[shakes her head]

That's your choice.

[oedipuswreck]

[voice cracking, raising in pitch]

Even Misato-san—?

[failtactical]

[baby no]

Were you expecting me to tell you what to do?

[oedipuswreck]

I—I don't know—

[getting teary again]

[failtactical]

You haven't remembered everything yet, have you? It's not something you have to decide right now.

[oedipuswreck]

I don't want to go back!

[failtactical]

Then... don't.

[oedipuswreck]

But— . . .

What?

[failtactical]

What?

[oedipuswreck]

Misato-san . . . you always wanted me to pilot Eva.

[failtactical]

Yes. And you did.

[oedipuswreck]

I didn't save anybody. I never . . .

[failtactical]

Are you certain of that?

[oedipuswreck]

. . . I didn't save Ayanami. And anybody else I might have saved once—didn't I just go and ruin that?

[failtactical]

Did you? Do you remember enough to be 100% sure of that?

More importantly, how does that affect your decision?

[oedipuswreck]

. . . I was only ever miserable there. I don't want to go back.

[failtactical]

So if it turns out that you did save people... will you want to go back, then?

[oedipuswreck]

No—. . . I want to go home with Ruka and Kaworu . . . I want to help here . . . I—

[failtactical]

Then do that, Shinji-kun.

[oedipuswreck]

But aren't I responsible for what I've done?!

[failtactical]

Yes, you are.

[oedipuswreck]

So how can I say—I can't fix it, I don't want to fix it, I want to be happy?

[failtactical]

You're the only one who knows what would make you happy, and you're the only one who can work towards that happiness.

Being punished for whatever things you did, or didn't do... something like that won't change anything back home, anyway.

[oedipuswreck]

Ruka and Kaworu and the others—want me to be happy. But—I guess I'm the one holding myself back. Because why should I be allowed to have that?

[failtactical]

[nods, sighing again as she deliberates for a moment]

I... To be honest, I can barely start to imagine what it must have been like—going through everything you told me about. But I do understand why you'd feel like you don't deserve to be happy after what happened.

But right here, right now, this is where you are, Shinji-kun. There's nothing you can do to change the past and rejecting the possibility of being happy elsewhere wouldn't solve anything either way.

I'm not saying you need to forget about it or pretend it never happened... we both know that kind of thing is impossible. But you can still move forward, you can still change yourself into someone you're happier with, you can make other people happy too...

Keep the memories of your loved ones alive in your heart and live on for their sake. Atone in ways that will improve life for you and other people.