CONGRATULATIONS SHINJI

[failtactical]

[s-s-surprise candle call?!]

Comments

[oedipuswreck]

[looks up slowly, needy and nervous and just . . . Shinji, always terrified of rejection, taking the leap to reach out to Misato even though he was expecting the worst—that shaky exhaustion is obvious in how pale his face is]

. . . Misato-san?

[failtactical]

[quietly]

Yes?

[oedipuswreck]

Are you happy?

[failtactical]

Huh?

[oedipuswreck]

. . . where you are, right now. Living . . . here. Are you—happy?

[failtactical]

[turning bright pink]

W-What's with that question, all of a sudden?

[oedipuswreck]

. . .

I'm—not sure. A couple of reasons, I guess.

[failtactical]

It's a really serious question...

[oedipuswreck]

It's something I've been thinking about seriously.

[failtactical]

Mmmy happiness?

[oedipuswreck]

Happiness in general? But talking to Misato-san . . . of course I'd like to know if you're—doing okay.

1/2

[failtactical]

[nods. she remains silent for a little bit before answering]



To be honest with you, I really hated this place when I first got here. I kept feeling like I couldn't live up to the kind of person I was in my memories and... at some point I pretty much gave up on myself. In a way, I'm glad you weren't there to see that, I was pretty uncool.

[failtactical]

But... as I kept remembering more and learning about the things that happened back home, I came to understand that the only thing I could do, while here, was work hard for Amethyst and the people I cared about.

[another moment of silence, visibly debating something]

The reason why I'm still here is because Major Katsuragi's story back home has already ended. I can't go back anymore.

[oedipuswreck]

[he's quiet, listening to that]

. . . you never really—answered. Through that.

[failtactical]

I died, Shinji-kun.

[oedipuswreck]

I know.

[rests his chin on his knees, pulling his legs to his chest]

I meant, you never answered if you could be happy here.

[failtactical]

[nods]

... It would be pretty ungrateful of me to keep moping after I've been given this extra time... however long it lasts. So while there's still many things about my previous life that get me down every now and then, I am trying my best to focus on the here and now.

Mm... I guess that's just a really long-winded way to say, it's a work in progress. But I'm certain I can be happy here, and I'm not planning to let that possibility go to waste.

[oedipuswreck]

. . .

Am I allowed?

[failtactical]

Yes.

[oedipuswreck]

[looks startled at . . . that . . . answer. like, maybe he wasn't expecting to be told "no" but just—that's it?]

. . .

[failtactical]

Has anybody said otherwise?

[oedipuswreck]

Shouldn't I go—back there?

[failtactical]

[shakes her head]

That's your choice.

[oedipuswreck]

[voice cracking, raising in pitch]

Even Misato-san—?

[failtactical]

[baby no]

Were you expecting me to tell you what to do?